If Wishes were Fishes
by Goofy-Charli
Summary: The way Fai saw it; he had one of two options. The first was to risk destroying, around his heart, the barriers he had so carefully spent the past years constructing. Or secondly, he could throw on a smile with which he was fooling nobody and walk away as if nothing unusual had happened. If only it were that simple.


**If Wishes Were Fishes**

Bronze, bulbous and monolithic, the abstract sculpture towered in arrogant defiance above the many bustling enthusiasts at its feet. Kurogane stared at the obscure structure with a mixture of confusion, boredom and disgust. He reached forward to stroke its speckled surface in hope of gauging some understanding of its purpose, but was immediately apprehended by a nearby guard, who proceeded to warn him once again of the prohibition against touching the exhibits. The ninja grumbled an incoherent retort as a shock of blonde hair appeared by his side, the grinning face of the effervescent mage, Fai, blocking his view of the bronze statue.

"What the hell is this anyway?" Kurogane exclaimed, gesturing at the structure behind Fai.

"It's _art _Kuro-pon!" the wizard replied gleefully, grabbing Kurogane's hand in order to pull him into the next room.

Kurogane detached Fai's hand from his and pinned him with a menacing glare, which unfortunately went unnoticed. "Its meaningless rubbish is what it is," he mumbled unhappily. "Why do we have to waste our time in this godforsaken place?"

Fai sighed dramatically at the ninja and made another grab for his hand as he said, "Because Mokona thinks the feather might be in here, in one of the exhibits somewhere." Kurogane snatched his arm away in enough time and smirked as Fai stumbled forward due to overbalancing.

"So?"

"_So_," the blonde replied with a huff, "we have to look in every room so we don't miss it. You promised you'd help Syaoran, Kuro-nin, that's what you're doing."

"No," Kurogane said pointedly, "I'm being forced to torture my eyes by looking at _things,_" he grimaced at a particularly offensive canvas depicting red and yellow squares overlapping, "that belong in the dump. I said I'd help find a feather – not tour a bloody art gallery!"

Fai could only giggle in response, earning himself another glare. Having spied the children up ahead, Fai grabbed Kurogane by the forearm before he had a chance to object and jogged with the ninja to meet them.

The friends walked together into the next gallery space, and were greeted with a magnificent sight. Along the length of an entire wall were thousands of little holes holding thousands of little ribbons, all in a multitude of colours. Sakura rushed forwards to inspect the piece, relating the information she had learned back to Syaoran, Mokona, Fai and Kurogane as they joined her.

"It's all about wishes!" she proclaimed excitedly, "It's an artwork too!"

"Hardly," Kurogane said. Fai elbowed him in the ribs.

Sakura continued, oblivious to the exchange, "There's wishes written on all the ribbons, other people's wishes. You take one you like, then write a wish of your own on paper and put it back in its place."

"Look, look!" cried Mokona, "Here's one that says 'I wish I could travel in time and space', but we can't tell them we can. How sad!"

Kurogane huffed impatiently, "Who cares? There's no feather here, keep moving."

All four faces of his companions turned on him in sorrow, their very eyes pleading.

"Oh come on Kuro-daddy!" Fai whined in mock despair, "We have such little fun during all our travels, choose a wish!"

The ninja growled, "All you do is have fun you stupid mage! You don't take anything seriously."

Fai pouted, his lip curled in childish defiance, his eyes glimmered with fake tears – and Kurogane folded like a cheap suit of leather armour. "Fine! Do what you want idiot."

With simultaneous cries of exultation, the friends dispersed and began scanning the wall for their favourite wish. Kurogane merely glanced at the ribbons with an air of boredom – an effort to appear detached and uninterested.

"Sakura-chan, Sakura-chan! Which one did you get?!" Mokona cried happily as it bounced up and down on Syaoran's head. Sakura glanced sheepishly down at the little yellow ribbon in her hands and blushed.

"E-eh…I chose 'I wish I could remember my dreams'," she replied timidly, avoiding eye contact with anyone.

Syaoran's face fell for a second, but he brightened up immediately and gave her a reassuring smile, "That's a good wish Sakura-hime," he said, attempting to sound genuine.

Sakura beamed in response and nodded her head furiously, as if she had agreed with him all along. "What about you Syaoran-kun?"

"I've got one that says 'I wish I could change the past'," he replied sombrely. Sakura didn't seem to notice however, as Mokona chose that moment to jump from the boy's head to hers.

"Well, Mokona can't decide!" the white dumpling exclaimed, causing Sakura to laugh. "Mokona likes both 'I wish the world was made of ice cream' and 'I wish hugs smelled like strawberries'."

"Both of those sound yummy," Sakura giggled, "Why don't I help you choose?"

From a distance, Fai watched the exchange between the three with fondness, a light smile playing on his lips, but never truly emerging. He sighed as he turned back to the ribbon he'd been staring at previously, allowing his fingers to trace the edge of the fabric delicately.

_I wish he'd notice me._

Glancing sideways at the man in question, Fai felt his heart clench at the sight of Kurogane's battle hardened face, the ever present scowl upon the lips that would never meet his own. For a second, the wizard could have sworn he saw the ninja's features soften just a little as a boy, three or so years of age, rushed past him, almost tripping in his excitement. Beautiful as it was, however, it only served to worsen the ache in Fai's soul, as he knew that face would never soften for him.

Unbeknownst to the mage, Kurogane was also watching him – or rather, studying his actions with an intense feeling the ninja was loath to name, even truly admit existed. His body stilled as the blonde's long, delicate fingers played with a ribbon Kurogane's eagle eyes could still read, and in a moment of brash stupidity he grabbed a ribbon for himself off the wall and stalked over to Fai's side, fixing him with a challenging glare.

Fai gasped, his body betraying him in an instant. Kurogane was standing so close Fai could feel his hot breath upon his neck, the warmth that radiated from his cloaked body enveloping him like a comforting blanket on a chilly day. Fai's hand trembled where it was in contact with the ribbon, and he shuddered when he noticed the ninja's eyes trail down his lithe arm and centre on the ribbon's text. With great dread, Fai tried to read Kurogane's expression, but found it an impossible task and instead focused his attention upon the wall.

The way Fai saw it; he had one of two options as his finger lay wavering between two ribbons. The first was to risk destroying, around his heart, the barriers he had so carefully spent the past years constructing by choosing the ribbon which read 'I wish he'd notice me'. Or, secondly, he could throw on a smile with which he was fooling nobody, take the other ribbon and walk away as if nothing unusual had happened. They were simple options, yet both depended on whether or not Kurogane's sudden display and unbearable closeness was his attempt to express his feelings, or just another jibe at Fai's mock sensitivity and unwillingness to open up. Either way, the wizard was certain he'd wind up with a broken heart. The familiar scent of tanned leather and armour oil which could only belong to a certain ninja filled Fai's senses, intoxicating him. The blonde was finding it increasingly difficult to breathe with every second he stood there, unmoving, undecided, wavering between the two ribbons under his beloved's ever watchful gaze. Such a simple action it would be, taking one of the ribbons from the wall, but the implications of said action would surely change the course of Fai's and Kurogane's relationship forever – the only variable was the direction it would take.

Seconds dragged into minutes, and when Kurogane could bear it no longer he leant down as if to murmur something in Fai's ear, but was stopped abruptly when the mage reached forward in panic and snatched a ribbon, grinning stupidly at the taller man.

"See Kuro-bono", Fai chirped, "'I wish fish had wings'. Isn't that nice?" And with that Fai trotted away to join Sakura in her attempts to help Mokona decide on a wish. He smiled and laughed, but his efforts in hiding his pain were weaker even then usual. Fai was, however, determined not to turn around. He wouldn't look at Kurogane, he would not, he would not…

Fai turned his head for a second, but found the ninja was gone. There was no trace of him anywhere in the room, except for a crumpled ribbon on the floor were he had been standing. Unable to help himself, Fai walked over, picked it up and read it slowly.

_'I wish people wouldn't lie'._

A bitter smiled contorted Fai's smooth features as he stuffed the ribbon into his pocket. "Quite right Kuro-sama," he whispered, "and I wish I didn't have to."

Syaoran made a gesture from across the room, indicating that the group was moving on to the next room. Assuming a happy countenance and willing a skip into his step, Fai joined his friends, thinking about fish with wings.

Fishes, unlike wishes, couldn't break his heart. Fishes, unlike wishes, were safe.

* * *

I was inspired to write this story after seeing the artwork described and picking up a ribbon which read 'I wish fish had wings'. It struck me instantly as being very Fai-like, so I wrote it into this sad little story. By the way, I took home the one that said 'I wish I could travel in time and space'!

If you're interested, the artwork is titled "I Wish your Wish" by Rivane Neuenschwander. There's more info and photos here:  
21cblog ?s=wishes &x=0&y=0 (remove the spaces, three between each gap)


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